Her name was Binita and she was from India. More specifically, her parents were from India and she was born there, but she moved to this country when she was under two. Her problem as she described it was a bad feeling about her body and about sex in general. At 24 she was still a virgin and, in fact, had never had a serious relationship with a man or boy.
“So Binita, would you consider yourself a shy person?”
“I would say I’m on the shy side although mostly in social situations with men. I do fine at my job or when I was in school but if I am alone with a man I tense up and become overwhelmed with the feeling that at some point, that man will want to touch me or see my body.” In truth she didn’t have a bad looking body although she dressed in baggy clothes that didn’t complement her body. Her skin was magnificent; blemish free and chocolate brown.
“Whenever I’m in an intimate situation with a man I become overwhelmed with this thought of what will happen if he wants to become more intimate. Once I actually jumped when a man put his arm around me and I wasn’t expecting it.”
“And how did he respond when you did that?”
“Well, he took his arm away and even though I apologized there was no touching for the rest of the date and he never called me again after that date.” She showed no sign of any accent. Perhaps a bit of residual tone – slightly higher than a second generation American – but her words were pronounced impeccably.
“How far have you actually gone with a man? Have you kissed a man? Made out with a man? Let him touch your body? What about girlfriends?”
“I’ve kissed men – sometimes for a sustained period – but never let them touch my body. There have been a few times when I would have let them touch my body but they didn’t take advantage of my willingness.”
Well, I’m sure that had to do with the signals you are giving off when you are with them. Would you like to feel more comfortably around men, improve your confidence, and better understand the signals you give off?”
“Yes, very much.” I got up from my chair and walked around behind hers. I put my hands on her shoulders and felt her neck tighten up as I did.
“Try to relax.” I began to massage her neck and shoulders lightly. She continued to tense her muscles. “I assume this is the way you always dress. These clothes look two sizes too big. And too many layers. Aren’t you hot in all these clothes? Why don’t you take off your sweater?” She didn’t respond. She seemed frozen. Stiff, silent, in spite of my attempts to relax her neck muscles.
“I’m going to take off your sweater. Please try to relax.” It was a pullover and I slowly lifted it from the bottom rolling it over her ample breasts and pulled first one arm. Then her head, then the final arm through the material. Under the sweater she wore a flowered blouse made of some synthetic material looking like silk but considerably thicker. I could see a white cotton slip under her blouse and there was undoubtedly a bra under that. She wore a long woolen skirt that dipped below her knees. Rather thick stockings or yoga pants were under that.
“I have a bed in the adjoining room. I’d like to go in there with you and just cuddle for a while. Is that okay with you?” She paused for a minute.
“Yes. I guess that would be okay.”
“Well, I would like for you to take off your blouse and your skirt before we do. Correct me if I’m wrong but you would still be wearing pants and a fully covered top.”
“Yes, but I can’t do that. I would feel naked.”
“Alright, let’s go lie down.” I led her into the adjoining room and got into the bed before her. I encouraged her to climb in and she was obviously shy, getting in tenuously. I positioned her so that she was lying on her side facing away from me and I spooned her from behind. My lower hand fit under her waist and my upper arm surrounded her upper torso. My bicep crossed her breast and my hand held hers just above her other breast. I gave her a one armed squeeze, pressing her breasts with my arm and hers. I lowered my head against the back of her neck.
“You understand that the purpose of this is to make you feel more comfortable with intimacy.” She nodded but I could feel the tension in her whole body. She had an interesting aroma. Like no other woman I had ever been with. Probably due to her diet. I wanted to taste her skin. I moved my lips against her neck.
“In our next session I want you to take off your clothes before we cuddle. I want you to learn to feel comfortable about your own body. I want you to appreciate the beauty of your nudity. You do have a beautiful body, you know.“ I gave her another squeeze and pressed my lips on her neck.
“I don’t know if I can do that.” My lips began to kiss her naked neck, tasting her sweet spicy brown skin.
“You must. If you want to get better. If you prefer, I can bring in another man but you must learn to be naked in front of men. You must learn about the power that your body wields over men. You must achieve some comfort with your sexual side.
“I’m just not sure.”
“Today I will let you get away with it but not in the future. Next time you will be required to get naked in front of me. I will promise to keep your virginity intact – at least until we have talked about the possibility of taking it. That, of course, won’t be necessary, but undressing and showing me your naked body will be required. Think about that and plan for it.” She remained quiet.
After a time, I could feel her responding to our cuddling. Her whole body was beginning to shake. I cuddled her closer, kissing her neck, nuzzling her thick black hair. Her aroma, her closeness, the shivering of her warm body, all intoxicating me. I soothed her with my arms, pressing against her back, squeezing her. We lay like that until the end of the session. Got up, got dressed.
“Will I see you next week, Binita?”