We’ve all heard about the 7 year itch. I’ve concluded that it takes that long for most marriages to fall into a rut around sex. Individual tastes have been explored and optimized. Unfortunately many rely on the “old stand-by.” That is the sexual technique that has worked best for their partner. And while it is probably true that it can achieve the quickest orgasm, repeating the same thing over and over, gets pretty boring.
A healthy sexual environment can also be hindered by the pressures of real life. Children, hard driving jobs or second jobs, night school, a friend or relative’s personal crisis, and many other pressures create fatigue and a lack of time for one another. What used to be a daily activity becomes less common and then confined to weekends, then casual weekends, then special occasions. Infrequent is added to boring.
Some couples survive. Strong in their feelings, committed to one another. Sex is only a small part of their relationship. Others find themselves suddenly awakened by a complimentary pursuer. Someone who makes them feel sexy again. Who renews those lustful desires. Who inspires that primordial drive.
People change and in the course of years, people sexual desires change. Yet often sex is a topic not discussed. Women assume that men never change, are overly sensitive about discussing their sexual performance, and feel inadequate when women discuss their sexual desires. Men assume that women want romance, poems and flowers and things that matter little to them. Maybe occasionally once a year they step up to the plate because they do care. But women also want hard driving, lust filled sex.
As a writer of erotic stories, I hope to be the catalyst that brings couples together again. I want to write a book that re-ignites the passion between loving couples. One that sparks imagination and gets them wondering, exploring, and fantasizing again. I have yet to write this book but I feel that many of my books are heading this way with a few side trips.
What’s missing is the trigger that will get couples to share the book. Women read more than men and most of my audience is men. The women seem reluctant to share the fantasies with their men. Understandably because they may not be their fantasy, specifically. Or at least they may not be a fantasy they want to make a reality. I think we all have fantasies that we prefer to remain that way.
So how do I write a book that gets couple to share? How do I get them to use the book and its fantasies as talking points? Better sex, I am convinced, can start with a discussion. If you were writing a book with the objective of starting a discussion between a married couple, a discussion to reignite a boring sex life, what would you do? How would you get them to share?
By the way, my most recent book, Hot Wife, is finally up on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B015JR13PO