I am a sex therapist, certified, educated and licensed by the State. I employ two sex surrogates, Brandi and Hector. Brandi is 29, unmarried, quite beautiful in her petite way, and she has a rather high almost squeaky voice. Hector, 33, is a divorced man. He has a Latino background and looks the part, wavy black hair, beautiful light brown complexion and a dreamy face. He likes to work out and keeps himself very fit. Both have been with me now for over two years.
Today, we had a typical client come in. He just started his senior year of High School and he was accompanied by his mother. She was worried about him because he became extremely nervous around girls, had yet to have a meaningful relationship with the opposite sex, and admitted to her that he struggles with sudden ejaculations sometimes with hardly any stimulation. She signed our permission forms and I explained that she would not be included in any of the therapy. I also recommended to her that she avoid asking her son about the details of the therapy sessions. It would be OK to ask him if it was helping and if he wanted to continue but she should avoid pressing him about the specifics of each session. She agreed and left.
Michael (we’ll call him that) was extremely nervous during our first session. I could see wet spots appearing under his arm pits. I relaxed him by talking about his general life and interests. He liked to participate in sports and was on the High School basketball team. He was a good student and liked math and science. Eventually we began talking about his relationship with girls and he said he couldn’t talk to girls and often stuttered around them. Yet stuttering was not a problem for him otherwise. The problem seemed to be limited to social encounters with women and didn’t affect his speaking in class even when there were female teachers.
After discussing what he hoped to get out of our sessions (be comfortable around women) I specifically asked him about his ejaculation issue. He said he that what his mother said was true. That sometimes he would just be looking at a sexy girl and he would ejaculate in his pants. Aside from being potentially very embarrassing, he was afraid that he would never be able to measure up to the expectations of a lover.
I explained our process to him and told him the next session would be with Brandi as well as me. We generally would meet with him at different times but the first time I would introduce the two of them. I showed him a picture of Brandi and smiled to myself at his reaction. The picture I showed him was a full length picture, dressed in a jersey and jeans but showed off her hourglass figure. I could see him gulp and the nervousness return. I also mentioned to him that I would occasionally monitor his sessions with Brandi without being present. I’m pretty sure he didn’t realize I meant through a video camera but I didn’t emphasize it because I felt it would increase his nervousness.
We arranged for weekly sessions and he undoubtedly left a little apprehensive about his first real session with Brandi.
To Be Continued